


I’m right here, darling

by kei28



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood and Injury, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Established Relationship, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Explicit Language, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Panic Attacks, harry knows, supportive boyfriends, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28569225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kei28/pseuds/kei28
Summary: Two times Sirius and Remus helped each other, and Harry was there too.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 83





	1. Remus

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first time writing Wolfstar, hope you like it! Comments and advise are always welcomed.  
> Also, English is not my first language, so I apologise in advance for any grammar errors :)  
> -  
> Disclaimer: I do not support JKR nor agree with any of her transphobic statements. If you do, please leave

It was like being back at Hogwarts – Remus sleeping, while his body was covered in cuts and blood, and Sirius sitting beside him, stroking his hair and worrying to death.

Oh yes, if he closed his eyes, he could imagine being back in the comfortable hospital wing of his old school, where you could smell chocolate and mint and hear soft music being played at all hours.

But they weren’t at Hogwarts.

_Clearly_ ,  Sirius thought.

They were at number twelve Grimmauld Place, much to Sirius’s displeasure. 

When Remus arrived, Sirius was in the kitchen, talking with Arthur and Molly, while the kids were having dinner. Even before his mother’s portrait could start its usual wailing, he knew something was wrong – he could feel it in his gut.

Molly must have noticed it.

“Are you alright, Sirius?” she asked, apprehensive as always. Harry’s eyes were already on him, concerned.

But he couldn’t answer because, at that moment, Remus stormed into the room. He was sweaty, blood was covering his clothes and hands and he looked so tired and close to faint. 

Someone screamed, probably Ginny or Hermione.

“Pads...” Remus managed to say, breathing heavily. Without even noticing, Sirius was already beside him, supporting him with an arm around his waist, so he couldn’t fall.

“Shit, love, what happened?” He asked while taking Remus’ face in his free hand. Sirius usually avoid using cute nicknames in front of other people - not everyone knew -, but his mind wasn’t functioning properly and all he could think about was  _Remus, Remus is hurt, he is in pain, he is losing too much blood, Remus, Remus, Remus_.

“They... got angry... attacked me...” the werewolf tried to explain, but it was obvious that every word was hard for him. While trying to keep Remus standing, Sirius vaguely registered Arthur screaming  _Clear the table!_ ,  and Molly saying  _ Can someone please go and shut that old hag off!  _ – Sirius didn’t even notice his mother was yelling, but he made a little note in his mind to high-five Molly later.

“Come on, Sirius! Put him on the table!” Hermione said, fear in her voice.

He laid him on the table with Arthur’s help. Remus looked so pale that Sirius had to hold a whimper.

“You, out, now! Time to go to bed.” Molly was pushing the kids out of the kitchen, but they protested. 

“I don’t want to hear anything. You can’t see any of this!” She closed the door and looked at Sirius, “We should call Madame Pomfrey.”

“No! She would take too long to get here. I can manage. I can heal him myself.”

The Weasley consorts didn’t seem quite sure, but they nodded.

Sirius got to work – _oh_ , he had done it so many times, it was muscle memory by now. He started by cutting open Remus’ shirt. His torso was full of cuts and bruises, Sirius wanted to scream. But remained calm, he had to.

“Arthur, would you bring me that purple vial? It’s right there, in the cupboard!” 

Arthur run.

At that point, Remus was heavily breathing and muttering words.  _ It hurts _ .

“I know, Moony, I know. It’s going to be fine,” Sirius said. His voice was so soft and comforting that Molly glanced at him like she couldn’t believe that Sirius could be this gentle.

When finally Arthur arrived with the potion, Sirius started doing his healing charms. He learned them when he was 19, at the time he and Remus lived together after Hogwarts. Remus didn’t want him to, but Sirius interjected with his usual  _ Don’t tell me what to do, Moony! _ . After all these years, he still remembered them.

After a few minutes, the most superficial cuts were completely healed and Remus was getting some colour back.

“Oh!” Molly exclaimed, relieved.

“He is going to be okay. He just needs to rest. I’ll apply the healing potions to the deeper cuts while he sleeps.” Sirius said. He felt like he was breathing again.

Molly looked at him as he was studying him. “Are you sure? I could stay, so you can go to sleep,” she proposed.

Sirius smirked at her. He wasn’t sure she understood that Remus and he weren’t just  _ very best friends _ . He found it quite amusing. “I couldn’t leave him even if I wanted. He gets upset when he wakes up without me.”

Molly and Sirius looked at each other for a few seconds, and then the woman nodded, as she understood. Sirius hoped she did.

Then Mr and Mrs Weasley left the room, Sirius heard a few “How is he? Is he dead?” coming from outside the kitchen. Apparently, the kids never went to bed and stayed there, waiting for news. Molly shushed them and forced them upstairs.

Sirius fell on a chair, exhausted. He would never admit it to Remus, but healing charms were quite draining.

So, here they were. Remus was sleeping and Sirius sat beside him, stroking his hair, holding his hand, and applying the healing potion on his wounds. At some point, he even put on some iced and cold washcloth on them, in the hope, it would alleviate Remus’ pain.

He seemed better: his breathing was now regular and most of the bruises were gone. Except for one deep cut that went from his left hip to his button belly. It wasn’t healing fast like the others – Sirius figured that it just needed time.

Around 2 a.m., the kitchen door opened and Harry entered the room.

“Harry!” Sirius said softly, “What are you doing here? It’s late.”

The boy ignored him, “How is he?”

Sirius smiled reassuringly, “He just needs his beauty sleep.”

That’s what James used to call it, the long nap Remus had after a full moon.

Harry giggled quietly, then his face fell, “What happened?”

Sirius sighed, “I can’t tell you that, Harry. You know it.” The boy didn’t like the answer.

Suddenly Remus started calling his name, softly.

“Sirius.”

“I’m right here, darling,” he said, squeezing his hand. It felt so good being able to call Remus like that without expecting questions – Harry had been so supportive when they told him.

“What is it?”

“It burns,” he answered, while his body started shaking from the pain.

Sirius was already alert, grabbing the healing potion. “Which one is it?”

“The one on the hip.”

“I figured, ” Sirius muttered “Try staying still, love. It’ll be over soon.” 

He started applying with circular movements the purple potion, that had a sort of sand texture. It smelled of cut grass, for some reasons. He never liked it but saved Remus many times.

Remus relaxed almost immediately and then fell asleep again. Sirius sighed heavenly, rubbing his eyes.

Harry - he looked slightly shaken - spoke again, “What is that?” 

“This? Oh, it’s a homemade healing potion. Your mother invented it, “ Sirius explained.

“My mom? She invented a potion?”

“Your mom was a genius at potions! The only rival that Snivellus git had ever had! She was extraordinary.”

Harry laughed at the nickname and asked, “Does it work?”

“Most certainly. She started working on it when she was 17 but she managed to finish only two years later.” Sirius said “It’s a very complicated brew, you see. It is made of both wizardry and muggle medication – it’s perfect for magical wounds.”

Harry seemed troubled. “Magical wounds. What happened, Padfoot?” 

_ Oh, the Padfoot card, clever Little Prongs.  _ Sirius thought.

“It was a full moon last night, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. Yes, it was,” the man responded. He knew what Harry meant, so he continued, “But these cuts aren’t of his own making. He... He was on a mission for the Order.”

His godson nodded slowly, “What does he do on these missions?”

He managed to get his godfather to understand that he didn’t have to answer, but he would be deeply disappointed if he didn’t. Sirius wanted to look up to the ceiling and say  _ This one is just like you, Evans! Kind and annoying! _

He, however, decided against it. So he answered.

“He recruits allies. So they can fight with us.” He knew by looking Harry in his eyes that he knew that allies meant  _ werewolves _ .

Harry nodded again. He looked sad, Sirius hoped he didn’t blame himself.

At that moment, Remus woke up. He smirked tiringly at the two boys. Sirius felt overwhelmed with the love he had for that man – he smiled even if he felt like shit.

“Morning,” he mumbled.

“It’s 2 a.m., my love.” Sirius snickered softly.

“Then what are you doing here? You should be asleep dickhead!”

Harry laughed, causing Remus to look at him and say, “You too, Harry!”

Sirius ignored him, “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been worst.” His typical answer. 

Sirius took his hand again and stroke his knuckles.

“Want a cup of tea?” He knew his boyfriend so well, he knew that it was the only thing that he needed after a rough full moon. That, and wearing one of Sirius’ jumpers for comfort, so he helped him put it on (Sirius fetched it a couple of hours earlier when Remus was still sleeping profusely).

“Please!” Remus said like a toddler. Sirius couldn’t stop himself from caressing his cheek, before going to put the kettle on.

“What about you, Harry?” His godson replied with a quiet  _oh yes, thank you, Sirius_.

Harry looked at Remus intensively for a few seconds as if he was thinking about what to say. “Thank you for being so brave, Professor.”

Remus’ smile brightened the room.


	2. Sirius

Being back at Grimmauld Place was hard for Sirius, Remus knew that. He knew that every room, every wall, every painting, every furniture reminded him of a dreadful time he just wanted to forget.

At first, Sirius did his best to appear strong and to not let people know he was affected by that place. He almost convinced everyone, except for Remus of course — he had been his best friend since they were 11, he knew when Sirius was faking.

However, as time passed, his Padfoot, the man that always brightened his days with his enthusiasm and joy, slowly weakened. He became quieter – Remus hated it –, more reserved and distant – Remus  _ hated  _ it –, he barely smiled. He smiled just for Harry. But at the same time, Sirius suffered for him because he didn’t want the boy to leave.

Remus just didn’t know what to do.

Things got worse during the umpteenth meeting with the Order. They were in the big drawing-room of the Black’s manor.

Sirius was particularly grim that day, but Remus wasn’t surprised because he knew he hadn’t slept much the night before.

Moody and Dumbledore talked and talked about the prophecy but Remus wasn’t actually listening. That prophecy thing painfully brought him back to the First Wizarding War, to the first Order of the Phoenix — he glanced at Sirius to see if it was the same for him, and he saw him shake slightly.

“...The prophecy is everything. We need to be careful this time.” Moody was saying.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Emmeline asked irritated. 

“That last time things didn’t go as planned, Vance!”

“Things never go as planned, Mad-eye,” Remus added trying not to sound too harsh. He knew what the Auror meant and he wouldn't let him insult Sirius in front of the entire Order.

“And whose fault is that?” he roared, his fake eye was starting directly at Sirius. Remus expected his boyfriend to react and yell at Moody but instead, he stayed silent. Remus noticed his hands were trembling.

_ Oh no _ , he thought.

“No one’s fault! Everyone tried to protect their loved ones. At least, the few that were still alive,” the werewolf stated.

Sirius whimpered beside him. Remus wanted to hit himself.

“If we think about protecting ourselves, we will not win this war.” No one had an answer for that.

Meanwhile, Sirius was properly shaking now and breathing fast.

_ A panic attack _ , Remus thought. All the alarms in his brain started going off.

Sirius had always suffered from panic attacks, probably even before they met. In the first two years of Hogwarts, it was always James that helped him. They would never talk about it, but Remus and Peter knew. At the third year, when Remus and Sirius grew closer – and Sirius started opening up more about his family –, the werewolf helped him. Remus did his best to make Sirius feel better. He always brought water with him in case Sirius needed it, he had read so many books about the matter – both muggle and wizarding –, and he had learned a few techniques that could stop panic attacks. It never felt enough, but Sirius never wasted a moment to show his gratitude.

Remus took Sirius hand in his, stroking his knuckles, but it seemed like he didn't even notice it.

“We can’t let emotions get in the way!” Moody said. 

Remus knew that he didn’t mean to sound cruel – he was Alastor Moody after all –, but he snapped anyway,“Moody, shut up, won’t you?!”

Sirius looked at him, a quiet plea in his eyes,  _ Let’s leave please, I don’t want to stay here anymore _ . Remus’ heart broke in thousands of pieces, right at that moment.

He led Sirius out the drawing room and then apparated both of them in their bedroom. As soon as their feet touched the ground, Sirius fell on his knees, crying. Remus lowered next to him, so they could be at the same height.

“I’m right here, darling,” Remus said quietly, gently caressing his shoulders. Sirius was breathing fast as he couldn't grasp air, his trembling hands were on his chest, but he nodded.

“I’m right here, I won’t leave you.” Remus took the hair tie he always kept on his wrist and promptly tied up Sirius’ long locks. It always helped at least a little bit.

“Rem...” Sirius tried to say, but Remus shushed him.

“Shh baby, it’s okay. Just breath with me, eh?” Remus took both his partner’s hands and kissed them, then he started guiding Sirius into the same breathing exercises that they had used since the third year of school.  _ Inhale, hold and exhale \-  inhale, hold and exhale \-  inhale, hold and exhale _ . Remus repeated these words in his mind, like a chanting, hoping Sirius was doing the same.

Just as the werewolf thought that the worst was over,“Sirius?”, Harry’s voice came from the other side of the room. 

Sirius’ eyes filled with panic and tears started flooding again, Remus wanted to yell but it wouldn't have done any good.

“Harry, it’s fine. Give us five minutes, would you?” Remus said. Harry didn’t leave though and Sirius’ panic attack started getting worse. 

“Fuck, love, I’m sorry” he cried out, caressing his cheeks, “I forgot to lock the door.”

“’S okay” Sirius breathed.  _ No, it’s not! _

Remus needed to calm down, right now. He could almost hear Lily’s fierce voice say  _ For God's sake Remu! Don’t make such a fuss and focus! _

“All right, Sirius, look at me,” he said, his mind was a bit clearer, “Oi, baby, look at me.”

Sirius obliged, locking their eyes.

“Do you remember that time in the seventh year – it was close to Christmas’ break, I think – when you and James argued for a whole week whether muggle music was better than wizards music?”

His boyfriend looked at him questioningly, still breathing hard. Remus knew he was talking shit, but he needed Sirius to focus on something. Anything, really. And that was the first thing it popped on his mind, for some reasons. 

“You- you fiercely stated that no one in the wizarding world could compare to The Beatles, Queen, Led Zeppelin...”, Remus remembered so well siding with his boyfriend, causing James’ irritation.

“Bowie,” Sirius added softly. A bit of tension had left his body.

The werewolf smiled, keeping on caressing gently his boyfriend’s cheeks “Yes, darling, Bowie too. So, impulsive as you were, you decided to prove it to him by taking us to a concert. James was furious,  _ I am Head Boy, Pads! I can’t leave the castle, so you can show me how lame muggle music is! _ " Remus did his best James’ imitation, emphasizing his posh accent, making both Sirius and Harry - that still hadn’t left the room - giggle.

Sirius seemed much calmer now but he nonetheless hung on from his lips, waiting for Remus to finish. He was sure Harry was waiting as well.

So he continued, “And you said – I remember it quite vividly -,  _ Oh come on, Prongs! Are you a Marauder or not? Where did your sense of adventure go? Did Lily suck it out of you while eating your face? _ ”

Harry was properly laughing at this point, while Sirius smirked weakly – his hands were still shaking.

“Jamie blushed so much that I thought he was going to explode, but finally he gave in. And we sneaked away and went to this muggle concert. I don’t even remember the band’s name! Do you?”

Sirius shook his head.

“Well, we enjoyed ourselves anyway. We danced, and sang, and got so wasted, do you remember?” Remus didn’t mind saying it in front of Harry – he wasn’t his professor anymore, after all.

“It is one of the best nights of my life,” Sirius said, sincerely. He seemed okay now, just tired. The werewolf wanted to hug him and never let him go, so no one could hurt him again.

“Mines too, my love.”

Sirius sighed heavily and rested his forehead on Remus’.

“Better?”

“Mmh.”

Harry cleared his throat, “Are you okay, Padfoot?”

Sirius looked up to meet his eyes, “I am now. I haven't had one of these... episodes in a while, being back here doesn’t help it at all. But as long as Moony is here, I’m fine.”

Remus kissed his forehead and mumbled a  _ love you  _ against his skin, so only Sirius could hear it.


End file.
